


Puffin-Robbi-Raven-Ro

by LazyWriterGirl



Series: Femslash February 2017 - I Write Best When I'm Writing Gay [9]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: But It's Still Present, Closest to Crack!Fic That I've Ever Gotten, Femslash February 2017, Multi, Prompt Fill, Robin Has Dated a Ton of People, The Femslash Is Kinda Secondary Here, Who Would Have Thought They'd All Be Part of the Same Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9976973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyWriterGirl/pseuds/LazyWriterGirl
Summary: “This is Puffin?”“That’s Robbi?!”“She’s Raven?”“The Lady Ro appears?!”Or, Lucina brings home her older girlfriend, only to find that Robin knows quite a few of her relatives. And more intimately than either of them had been expecting, at that.Femslash February 2017 Prompt 9/12 - Character A brings Character B home for the holidays, and it turns out Character B has dated at least four other family members, not all in the same generation, and they all have different names for Character B.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I did what I could, but this was a _challenge_. In the interests of time it goes up now, but as with _all_ my work, I am open (and in this case, planning) to go back to this at some point to fix it up and make it much, much better. For now, hope you can glean some enjoyment from it!

Another year, another Tikimas, and this time she was spending it somewhere as opposed to wasting yet another holiday at home.

 

Alone.

 

On her couch.

 

Truth be told, Robin would have given anything to be at home on her couch.

 

See, if anybody had ever told her that she’d one day be seated in a stranger’s dining room for Tikimas dinner, surrounded by her current girlfriend, her current girlfriend’s parents, and assorted members of her girlfriend’s family— _four_ of whom she had dated at some point in time—she’d have laughed and asked them what they’d smoked before coming to talk to her. Things like that only happened in movies and poorly written stories created solely for wish fulfillment or as dares.  

Nothing that ridiculous ever happened in real life, that’s what Robin would have said.

As it were, however, had anybody ever told Robin that something this crazy was bound to happen to her, she would have been much, _much_ more careful about the people she’d dated before meeting Lucina. Because right now, currently, this was happening, and Robin _could not_. Handle. Any of it.

 

“It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?”

 

Funny was certainly one way to put it, but Robin couldn’t bring herself to agree with her girlfriend; at least not aloud. Not as Lucina struggled to break the strange tension that had surfaced as soon as Lucina’s family members had gotten a good look at Robin. As soon as Lucina’s Aunt Phila had said, “Puffin?” while her Aunt Lissa said, “Robbi?” and her Uncle Henry said, “Raven?” and her cousin’s boyfriend Gerome said “…Ro?” all at once.

And then all hell had broken loose as Chrom turned to Lissa and Emmeryn turned to Phila and Sumia turned to Henry and Owain turned to Gerome and four voices said, at the same time:

 

“This is Puffin? The younger woman you met the year before we got married?”

 

“That’s Robbi?! The woman who fished you out of the river in Chon’sin?”

 

“She’s Raven? The same Raven who you thought you were going to marry one day?”

 

“Lady Ro?! The kind Lady who taught you the meaning of _love_?!”

 

Yeah, Robin was pretty sure that anybody who’d ever written a scenario like this for _any_ reason must have really hated their character. How could they not, if they had willing to put their character in a situation this loud and confusing and revealing and _awkward._ If Robin believed in that one theory that life was being dictated to her by a celestial entity with a keyboard, she’d have come up with some very _serious_ things to say to _her_ writer. Because here she was.

Living an episode of a soap opera, as it seemed…although admittedly a more laid-back show, one with more familial awkwardness and silences and situations that would (hopefully) one day strike all involved as humorous, rather than the kind of soap where there was an excess of ugly-crying and dramatic exits and sex and murder plots.

“Who’d have thought that you’ve all…had some sort of…relations…with my girlfriend? Fate really is, um, strange, wouldn’t you say? It’s _funny_ ,” said Lucina, trying very, very hard not to let her voice crack, if Robin was hearing correctly.

 

Which she was certain she was.

 

The only answer was a sniff of recognition from Lucina’s father and a sigh from her mother. Neither of whom, Robin was glad to note, had ever met, let alone _dated_ Robin before. Lissa, Lucina’s youngest aunt, giggled, and Robin had to hang her head in shame.

Lissa, she’d dated. As well as Lissa’s husband, Henry. And then there was Lucina’s aunt by marriage, Phila. The twelve-year-gap between her and Robin was the same as the gap which now existed between herself and twenty-five-year-old Lucina, and Robin was…unsure of how to feel about that. After all, dating a younger woman had its own inherent shred of weirdness going on without adding…whatever was happening…into the mix.

Looking at Phila now, Robin couldn’t help but remember precisely why _they_ hadn’t lasted anywhere near as long as the six months (so far) that she’d shared with Lucina. There was just something about Phila that had always seemed to be missing, and seeing her sitting beside her wife, who only smiled a small, secretive smile, Robin understood what it was.

She was happy for Phila, really. And she was _beyond_ thrilled that the older woman didn’t seem to want to divulge more about their past than that she’d called Robin “Puffin” because of her white hair, insisting that it made more sense than “Robin”.

Emmeryn took one look at Robin’s hair and nodded, saying, “Well that certainly makes sense. As pure as a puffin’s stomach; that’s your hair, Robin.” She smiled. “You’re certainly very pretty, dear, like our lovely little Luci.”

 

And with those two slightly affirmative, vaguely confusing sentences, it was as if the dam keeping back Lucina’s family’s curiosity broke.

 

 

Lucina’s father was the least amused, and Robin picked out his almost-frantic question of “When did you even have _time_ to date our whole family…and _Gerome_ too, of all people?!” in spite of the noise.

His wife tried her best to calm him, saying, “Well, sweetie, it’s hardly the _whole_ family! And it isn’t like she dated them all at the same time!”

“You must be so well-travelled, Robin! Henry told me about how you two went backpacking through Plegia! What was it like?” asked Lissa, who was clearly less bothered by the whole thing than her brother was.

The same could be said for her husband, who only laughed his distinctive laugh as the chaos unfolded around him. Robin thought she could also hear him drop a joke about her reappearance in their lives “CAWsing” a ruckus—an _awful_ but still amusing pun that she had heard more than a few times during her and Henry’s brief relationship—but she couldn’t be too sure.

Lucina’s cousin Owain, who had by this point stood and planted one foot firmly on his chair, was holding his hand out to her and saying something about how it was a privilege to meet the dashing Lady Ro, who had defrosted Sir Gerome’s once-cold heart enough that now, years later noble Owain had—

“Owain. Sit. Down.” Gerome muttered, and he turned his eyes to Robin before ducking his head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Ro—Robin.”

“No problem, Gerome,” she returned, utterly confused by what was happening. The entirety of the room seemed to be chaotic and still, all at once. Everybody was talking, but aside from Owain, nobody had really _moved_ , and Robin was…a bit freaked out, to be honest.

 

What kind of family had Lucina grown up with?

 

“Could everybody _settle down?!_ ” At the sound of Lucina’s voice, everybody did just that. “I’ll admit that I’m surprised—and frankly a little weirded out—to find out that Robin’s dated…a lot of us…but she’s dating _me_ now, so we can all calm down, can’t we?”

“Lucina, don’t you think she’s too old for you?” asked Lucina’s father.

“She’s younger than all of you, even Uncle Henry, and it’s not like she’s my boss or anything. She’s just older. So, no,” said Lucina, and Robin was surprised to see her girlfriend looking at her father with such defiance. From what Lucina had told her, there was nobody in the world more important to her girlfriend than her father.

“…Robin?”

When Robin met the man’s eyes she expected to find some sort of protective-fatherly-venom waiting to strike her dead. Instead, she saw an open wariness, but a willingness to give her a chance lurking somewhere underneath that. “Yes, sir?”

“I don’t love this situation, but…you strike me as a good person. Don’t make me regret trusting you with my daughter.”

Robin certainly had no intention of doing that. “Of course not, sir!”

She wasn’t sure if it was the conviction in her voice or the vague fear in her eyes that pleased him enough to nod at her, but either way he nodded, and that seemed to be that. Next thing she knew the man was offering her more stuffing for her turkey and asking her about how she’d met his little girl as casually as if she were any other partner. After casting a glance at Lucina, Robin smiled, accepted the stuffing, and began to answer the man’s questions. The rest of the family all entered their own conversations, though Robin could _feel_ the curious glances.

It wasn’t the worst parental interrogation she’d ever received, and Chrom—as he insisted she call him—was nowhere near as scary as Robin had originally thought.

His whole line of questioning only lasted about thirty minutes, after which Robin felt significantly better in spite of how strangely this Tikimas celebration had started out. That good feeling lasted for about five minutes.

“So… Robbi’s pretty obvious, but why did you call her Raven, Uncle Henry?” asked Lucina, placing a hand over Robin’s to get her attention. The whole of the party looked up at the question, everybody nodding until Robin felt as though she’d stepped into a room full of bobble-headed figurines.

“Well…see, when I was a boy, I didn’t like robins a whole lot. But when I met Robin, I liked her a whole lot. SO,” says Henry—who Robin belatedly realized would become _her_ uncle if she and Lucina ever married—“I renamed her after my favourite bird!”

“And that’s the whole story, that’s absolutely all of it, _right Henry_?” Robin cut in before the older man could continue. There were some things—like the raven tattooed on her back—that Lucina didn’t need to know about. Not yet, anyway.

Henry looked confused for all of five seconds before he just nodded and laughed. Robin relaxed, only to tense up again when Henry turned the table’s attention to Gerome, needling him with the same good humour that Robin could remember him using on her during their time together. The atmosphere quickly became enjoyable once again, and honestly, considering how awkwardly things had started out, she was feeling a lot better around her girlfriend’s family now.

Robin wouldn’t have minded if that was the only time that Lucina attempted to pull some information from one of her relatives, but it kept. On. Happening.

 

She asked Gerome how he’d felt dating an older woman.

 

She asked Phila how long she and Robin dated.

 

She asked Lissa what dating Robin had been like for her.

 

Three hours later and Robin wanted to die, or get eaten by the floor, or something. Anything other than this. And then a rush of cold came in with the opening of a door and Robin, for a brief, silly second, wanted to take it back. Wasn’t this the way that the old Tikimas tale started? Ghosts coming from the chill to…oh wait. This was real life, not a story, as Robin reminded herself.

Turning to the newcomer when she noticed the rest of the family doing the same, Robin was greeted by the sight of a rosy-cheeked, twin-tailed girl with bright eyes and a brighter smile. Eyes and a smile which were pointed _straight_ at her as the newcomer let out a girlish squeal of surprise.

“Oh my gosh, no _way_! You’re _here_! You’re my sister’s girlfriend?!”

Robin had never seen this girl before in her life. And why did she seem to know Robin? And _why_ was Lucina standing up?

“Robin…” Lucina trailed off, staring between the newcomer and Robin. The rest of the family tensed, and Robin felt, for the first time, _really_ unwelcome. She didn’t even want to _look_ at Chrom or Sumia. “Please, _please_ tell me you haven’t had relations of _any kind_ with my baby sister. _Please._ ”

“Oh, so this is Cynthia?” Robin asked, and she could see the sag of relief in Lucina’s shoulders. “No, no I’ve _definitely_ not had _anything_ to do with Cynthia!” She nodded at the girl, who looked as confused as Robin had felt for the last few hours. “But it’s nice to meet you.”

 “Why?” asked Lucina, and Robin was glad to see that the entire family had calmed considerably.

Cynthia grinned, “Remember last week, how I saw a lady at the mall and she looked like she’d be your type?” She laughed. “Well, turns out it was this lady right here! And you’re already dating her!”

Lucina laughed, and Robin relaxed even further as the rest of her girlfriend’s family followed suit. She’d been frightened for a minute there, even though she genuinely had never met Lucina’s sister. If she’d been smart, she would have stayed frightened.

 

As soon as the laughter stopped, Cynthia smiled at her big sister. A question danced at the edge of her tongue; a question that Robin would immediately wish had never been spoken. “Luci, why would you think that anything happened between me and, sorry, what was your name, Robin?”

“Ye—

“You should call her Puffin,” said Phila with a smirk.

 

Lissa giggled. “Or Robbi.”

 

“Or Raven!”

 

“Or _Lady Ro!_ ”

 

“Why?”

 

As Lucina’s family began to chatter, spilling details of her past with Lucina’s sister, Robin sighed and accepted the glass that her girlfriend’s father handed to her. This was going to be one of the longest Tikimas celebrations that she’d ever been to. It felt surreal. It felt like it shouldn’t have been happening.

 

And yet here she was, and despite the prickly feeling she got over her skin as yet _another_ embarrassing anecdote from her past was related back to her girlfriend, she smiled. Because this was different from the norm. This was new. And Robin, embarrassed as she was, confused as she was bound to be for the next several _days_ , couldn’t help but love this feeling.

 

Another year, another Tikimas, and this time she was spending it somewhere as opposed to wasting yet another holiday at home.

 

"So, Puffin-Robbi-Raven-Ro..."

 

_Damn it._


End file.
